Hope on hold

Just when you thought it was safe to start looking forward, life swings round to deliver a knockout punch David Haye would have paid good money for on Saturday night. This came in the form of what was surely the worst moment of the last 8 and a bit weeks so far.

We had a serious fright here on Friday night. Jovies trachey dislodged again and the doctors couldn't force in her breaths with the hand pumped bag. The situation became so bad that they had to give her cpr and a shot of adreneline to keep her heart going. With their usual routine of tube changing and forced breaths not working the doctor on call effectively saved Jovies life by removing the trachey tubes and inserting a nasal tube into the hole in her throat. She had to sit holding it in for over an hour before they could get jovie to theatre. Really thought we were going to lose our little girl right then and there, it was horrendous.

They've inserted a new different size trachey and assessed her airways with a camera. CT scan shows no damage. Jovie spent Saturday sedated, with the drugs stopped this morning allowing her to slowly come round until the docs are sure the bigger trachey is working. They are saying it was getting caught in the wall of her throat hence why it wasn't working even with bag.

As a result of all this our long term confidence in the trachey has taken a pounding while our short term confidence in simply handling jovie has been dealt a major blow. We will spend the next day or two at least watching her closely and praying that she gets on better with her new tubes. Quite honestly its like waiting for the firing squad. The doctors seem prepared for the worst though, with emergency equipment and drugs on hand, just in case.

Our tiredness seems to turning more into cabin fever by the day, with both of us struggling to maintain our cool at times this weekend. Effort, especially on Lornas part, to spend a little bit of time away from the hospital may eventually prove helpful, and more importantly not dwelling on the horrible what-could-have-beens is the only way we can see ourselves getting over this latest setback with our sanity in one piece.

If and when this hurdle has been negotiated, the next step will be for Jovies ventilator to be decided on as currently she still remains on the multi purpose intensive care machine. Thoughts of this and the developments we hope so much that will follow it will however have to wait...